Understanding Temperance
by 1s2tvcoupledom
Summary: What has Brennan been hiding from Booth all these years? What will he do when the person he thought he knew best turns out to be someone completely different? Can he cope with her past?
1. Chapter 1

**Understanding Temperance **

What has Brennan been hiding from Booth all these years? What will he do when the person he thought he knew best turns out to be someone completely different? Can he cope with her past?

**Disclaimer – **I don't own Bones, but I wish I did

**Note –** so I'm new and would like pretty much any feedback, whether you think its crap and I should go far far away or whether its readable and not as corny as I made it sound in the summary.

Booth glanced over at the alarm clock, its glaring red numbers imprinting into his eyelids the time: 3:27am. Groggily his fingers fumbled to find the nightstand, knocking over the lamp that resided there in the process, with a thud his phone joined the lamp on the floor.

_Who the hell calls at this time? Who the hell is awake? _Booth questioned. _Bones _supplied that little irritable voice that plagued him daily about his feelings towards Bones

"Bones, why are you calling at such a god-forsaken hour?"

Her next words made him leap out of bed and throw on the nearest clothes. He bolted to the hall where his shoes lay haphazardly strewn over the floor, hopping as he attempted to put on a sock whilst searching for his shoes.

"Shit" he swore out loud, "where's my other shoe?"

Finally locating the offending object, Booth grabbed a jacket to brace himself against the falling snow. Her words ran over and over in his mindthe sheer desperation and pain in her voice made him want to strangle whoever had broken her so much that she sobbed his name over the phone. He replayed the conversation, albeit one-sided conversation over in his mind.

_"Booth" came her sobbing voice, normally so confident and self-assured_

_"What __happened__ Bones? I'll be right there." _

She hadn't answered just repeated his name over and over. _Don't worry Bones I'm coming, I won't letting anything hurt you, I'll protect you_. _God he would kill the bastard that had hurt her._

Racing down the deserted roads, Booth turned on the sirens for effect, as he ran a red light. Pulling up to her apartment building in record time, he decided that the elevators were taking too damn long. Glancing around he located the stairwell, pushing his weight against the heavy door he bolted up the stairs going two at a time, until he landed outside of her apartment door, slightly out of breath, his heart pounding more for fear of what he would find behind the door, then from his minor workout.

Emptying his pockets he spotted her key, he fumbled to open the door, frowning when he realised that the dead bolt was undone. He had always told her to keep it on; god knows what kind of creep could break in like that and hurt _his_ bones.

_Shit did I just call__ her mine? Where the hell was__ Bones?_

Noticing the shattered porcelain and glass in her kitchen, his heart rate picked up considerably, running through his mine all the horrific things that could have happened to Bones. Drawing his gun he silently padded down the hallway into the living room, the place was clear.

_"Bones?"_

Receiving no answer but quiet sobs, he frowned when he saw her, worry etched all over his face as she glance up at him, tears threatening to join the ones that have already tracked their way down her face.

"Bones, what happened? You had me worried."

Internally, Booth felt himself relax as he realised she hadn't been attacked, but it still didn't explain why there was broken glass strewn over the floor, and why the Temperance Brennan looked so broken. Rushing to her side he noticed blood on her hands as she rocked herself, her hands clasping her knees.

"Bones, it's alright, I'm here what happened?" His question was greeted by silence, he gently climbed into the bed with her wrapping his arms round her, muttering soothing sounds, _what the hell had happened?_

"Promise me you won't leave me Booth, promise me?_" _Brennan grabbed at his arm, her piercing eyes were a pale blue, a colour which Booth had only seen once, when she had had to identify the remains of her mother. _ Gods what had happen to her?_

"I promise, I won't ever leave you. Okay?" He kissed her forehead to reassure her, it seemed to have worked as she rested her head against his shoulder, sleep soon took her away. Booth untangled her from his arms, and lay her down to sleep, she turned and mumbled something incoherent and then she was peeling back once sleepy eyelid to glance at him. Her voice was raw from all the crying, and her eyelids were puffy but Booth couldn't think of anyone more beautiful than her, than _his _Bones in this moment. Reaching his hand out to cup her face, she bestowed upon him a small smile, placing her tiny hand on his she pulled him down to her face with surprising strength.

"Please stay with me tonight" she requested. Booth thought he wouldn't be able to leave if he tried. Lying down next to her he put a protective hand around her waist as she snuggled against him. He inhaled deeply as the smell of her shampoo wafted into his nostrils; pulling her tighter to him.

Brennan woke to find something weighing down her entire midsection, following the arm to its owner she recognised that it was Booth. _Crap we didn't sleep together did __we_She was conflicted she reasoned that she should be grateful that it was Booth who had shared her bed, at least she knew him, but the logical rational part of her said that she had crossed that invisible line with her partner. Her problems were just that, _her_ problems. She instantly regretted calling him last night. But the events that led to that phone call soon overwhelmed her; she forgot where she was as she struggled to breathe, the memories, threatening to choke her. Her body thrashed as she remembered their innocent faces, her laughing, and kissing them, her babies, the ones that those bastards had taken away, she remembered arriving at the crime scene so numb that she couldn't comprehend who would have wanted to kill her family.

Booth had a rude awakening, he felt the warm body in his arms thrash against him, orientating himself he saw the cinnamon coloured hair and last night's events came tumbling back to him. He placed his arms around her, but it was no use she just kept fighting him, as though he was an unknown assailant.

"Hey…hey Bones, it's Booth, your okay, you're in your own house. Just relax, Bones, breathe for me baby." _Crap_ Booth thought did I just call her _baby?_ It had gone unnoticed by her as she collected herself.

"Booth, I'm so sorry I just…" her voice died out as she mumbled the last few words

Placing his hand under her chin, he titled her head to make her look at him

"It's okay, just tell me what's wrong, okay?" The pain that was evident in her eyes made him want to grab her and kiss her until she forgot, but for now that would be a foolish move.

Brennan saw the concern that was evident in his eyes. She hated that she was so vulnerable right now, he could ask her anything, how she felt about him and she couldn't lie, she just felt so exposed. But she knew him; he wouldn't take advantage of her. What she hated more was the fact that now her problems would inevitably become his as well. He was like that taking on everyone else's problems, hers and Parker's. _God he doesn't need me to burden him__ too_.But the concern that was etched in those chocolate coloured balls enticed her to mouth the words

"I don't know where to start."

"At the beginning would be nice."Cracking a smirk at her to ease the situation, he reached his hand out to hold her small one in his.

"How about you go grab a shower, and I'll make breakfast, then we can talk. It'll give you some time to think."

Brennan nodded vigorously and headed to the bathroom, she felt like crap. Glancing into the mirror she saw puffy eyelids glance back at her. These past two weeks had been wreaking havoc on her life, she knew she had to offer Booth and explanation for her behaviour, but once he knew, he might just shut her out forever, and she need him there, even if he didn't know what she was going through he was there, her rock. _Come on Brennan, suck it up he needs to know. What are you going to do when he comes by one day unannounced and sees you playing house? _ Plucking up the courage to walk out the bathroom door and tell the one man she trusted the truth was going to kill her, but she owed it to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey thanks for the reviews they were really encouraging. Just wanted to ask for feedback on this chapter as well, I don't know whether its good or not because I have a bad habit of not re-reading work, but I tried this time. Hope it flows and what not, enjoy. **

Taking a deep breath Brennan almost lost her nerve, contemplating a way to fit through the small bathroom window to avoid the ensuing conversation. Mentally kicking herself she walked outside of the bathroom where the smell of pancakes wafted over to her, soon joined by Booth's off-key and rather endearing humming of some unrecognisable tune. Then it hit her it was one of those children's songs that she had learnt with her kids. _It was so long ago, but she could still clearly picture her Amy trying to teach the baby how to clap and sing along. _

"If you go out in the woods today, you'll be sure of a big surprise"

"Bones" Booth cheeks flushed a pale pink, as though embarrassed for being caught singing such a girly song.

"I…"

"Was singing a children's song?" Brennan replied, a playful smile dancing on her lips.

Realising that deflecting was the best means of defence "I didn't think that you would know the words." It had been the wrong thing to say, the smile that had graced her beautiful features was replaced with sadness.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about Booth." Silence stretched out for what seemed like an eternity, "Booth I think your pancakes are burning. I think I'll go and set the table." Brennan walked out of the kitchen living Booth to wonder what she had meant, the one coherent thought that he could muster was that she wanted to talk to him about children? _Wait she's not pregnant is she? _The thought froze him for a second, until he heard Brennan call out his name.

"Yeah Bones, I'm almost done, you can't rush the Booth pancake making process, it requires a lot of concentration." He placed their breakfast on two plates, and placed her breakfast in front of her, proud that he had managed to make pancakes in the place of bones for her.

Brennan stared at her plate, holding her cutlery with a death grip. The two of them were unsuccessfully trying to make their way through breakfast but with an awkward silence reigning there was little chance of success. Brennan was shifting food around her plate and Booth was yet to pick up his cutlery, merely staring at Brennan as though she had grown a second head.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Why you asking me what, I thought you wanted to tell me something?"

Brennan's face betrayed her nervousness "yes, but your body language, and your facial express put together scientifically speaking would suggest that you have a question to ask, there is something that you want to ask isn't there?"

Booth's futile attempts t avoid voicing his question were quashed when she rubbed her stomach, the words just tumbled out of his mouth, and he regretted them, as he saw the look of sadness that appeared on her face. "You're not pregnant are you?"

Her answer shocked him to his core, she grabbed his hand in hers and made him promise to hear her out, and to not leave no matter how angry he got at her, she stated that in no uncertain terms was he to leave until she had told him everything. But her answer almost made him leave right then and there, but his brain over road his racing heart and made him stay. "I'm not anymore."

"You had an abortion?"he choked out.

"I believe that it's a woman's prerogative to have an abortion if she doesn't want the baby and I'm sorry if I'm offending you Catholic sensibilities. Furthermore in anthropological terms - "

"Bones" he cut her off, "Just yes or no."

"No."

"What do you mean you're not anymore?"

Brennan stood from the table and walked to the living room, unlocking one of the drawers, she pulled out what appeared to be an old photo album. Explaining what had led her to DC was going to be the hardest thing she would have to do, next to losing her children and the love of her life.

"Booth I want you to take a look at this okay? Just look and I'll explain as we go through them."

Booth took a deep breath before fingering the title of the book, _Bennet family memories._ He didn't dare to open the book, feeling as though he was invading something extremely private. Brennan sensing his nervousness opened it for him. She positioned herself so she could see his face, hoping that he would not become angry at her for not telling him sooner.

Booth started at the open book, his brain barely registering what his eyes were telling him. He could have sworn his heart stopped. There stood Bones, nothing unusual there, it was setting that threw him. She stood, beautiful as ever in a pink room, a crib and rocking chair, clearly marked the room as a nursery. _What the hell was Bones doing in a nursery? _

Wordless he looked up at her, _why does she look afraid of me? _Glancing down his fingers turned page after page of Bones with two kids, _perhaps they're Russ' kids?_ Booth knew better however, something inexplicable was building up inside of him, was it jealously? It was when he saw the one colourful picture halfway through the album, that he knew that feeling to be jealously, jealous that another man had managed to make Bones happy, that he had given the 'perfect' life. Suddenly his jealously turned to anger as he wondered if this was the man that had made Bones so upset the night before.

Booth could only look on with utter disbelief.

"When I joined the Jeffersonian I requested that they seal my file, so when you became my partner there was about two years of my life erased from that file."

Brennan reached out to the book that was placed in Booth's now shaking hands and flipped through pages and pages of happy memories, seemingly taken right out of the how to be the perfect suburban housewife handbook. That was until she reached the last twenty or so pages, they were filled with newspaper cut outs. Booth eagerly scanned them, but not quite comprehending what was written in the black and white pages.

"I was…"the sadness in Brennan's voice and the pain she was feeling in her chest, near her heart compelled her to stop, so she could wipe away the tears. Feeling Booth squeeze her knee she found the strength to continue. Booth put the open book onto the table and gently reached for both her hands, silently encouraging her to continue. He reached up to brush away the tears that had escaped her overfilled eyes and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Taking a deep breath, Brennan began her story.

"It was about six years ago, that I was in Arizona identifying bodies in a mass grave that I found an interesting similarity between the bones. This was a mass grave under a playground, and though one would assume that the family had just used it as a grave site for their family members it turned out to be completely different. The youngest daughter of the family had been having a love affair behind her fiancé's back, her fiancé had been away at war. When he returned to find his love, in bed with another man he soon began to exact revenge on the family members, blaming them for allowing her to love another man. On the 21st of March each year to 'commemorate' his return from war and the day he found his love cheating on him, he would kill a pair of family members, always a man and a woman, normally a husband and wife. By the time the mass grave was found there were fifty-two bodies, a long time for someone to hold a grudge. Long story short…"

Booth registered that she had use a colloquial term, but was more intent on learning what had happened to smirk about it.

"Emily Benet, the youngest daughter gave birth to a baby girl not long after Gregory, the soldier, came home. Her daughter Rachel Benet gave birth to a baby boy on the 18th June 1997 and a girl on 26th May 2001, two days later she was killed along with her husband, by that time I was already helping the FBI track down the killer."

Brennan paused, registering the understanding in Booth's eyes, however, she knew that the next part would be the hardest. Booth was smart he could put two and two together, he had seen the pictures. But above all she hoped, something Booth had taught her, she **hoped** that she had taught him not to jump to conclusions.

Booth's mind was racing at a mile a minute, _Bones' had kids? Where were they? She wouldn't abandon them would she? Why didn't she tell me about them earlier? How come they don't live with her? _ His anger was now accompanied by both his constant jealously of the thought of Bones with another man, and curiosity. Booth couldn't comprehend who Bones' was anymore, it was like she was leading a double life, his promise to stay and hear her out was getting harder with each bit of information her heard. He knew not to jump to conclusions, but it was what he did, he couldn't help but think that the Bones he knew was a fraud.

Brennan passed Booth a picture, his anger soon rose that Bones in the three years he had known her had not bothered to mention anything to him about the image, the semblance of a family that lay before him. _ If a picture paints a thousand words, then a photograph is priceless. _A pregnant Brennan was standing with two kids, they looked to be three and five in the picture, standing together with a sign that read _Happy Birthday to the best mum in the world, _there was a man with his hand around Brennan's prominent belly. Booth glanced at her speechless, she was a mother. Wordlessly he turned back to the photo and identified a gold band, with a very expensive diamond inlaid into it.

"That picture was taken five years ago from last week. I was happy then. I mean I know that I adamantly state that I don't want to be Pollyanna housewife, with her perfect wall-street husband and built in nuclear family, but this was different."

Booth just stared wide-eyed at Brennan.

"The Rachel's son's name was Brandon Benet and her daughter's was Chloe Benet, but on 17th August 2001 they became Brandon and Chloe Brennan."


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey so thanks for all the reviews they've been really great. I've been having writer's block but just had some inspiration, so hope you like this chapter. _

Brennan sat waiting for Booth to say something, she could deal with his anger or with his disbelief but not with this silent treatment he was giving her. _I should never have told him. He hates me. No, Brennan, Booth is your best friend you just need to make this right. _Brennan reached her hand out to Booth's and gently squeezed it

"I couldn't just let them go into foster care. Their own family didn't want them Booth, and I couldn't just let them go through all the pain that I had."

Booth removed his hand from under Brennan's and scooted to the far end of the couch, attempting to put distance between himself and Bones.

Tears welled up in Brennan's eyes, logic had told her that Booth would hate her when she told him, but her heart had told her to tell him about everything she had kept from him. That look on his face, he was disgusted with her. _What have I done? _

Booth's quiet voice interrupted her tirade at herself.

"Tell me about him…them" he amended.

"The man in the photo his name is Henry Benet, he was my husband. He seemed so …normal." The tears that had been welling up in Brennan's eyes trailed their way down her face. Brennan had to bite her own lip to prevent herself from sobbing at the horrific memories.

Booth observed Bones with a keen eye, her distress was making him feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Bones had finally opened up to him and all he could think about was himself that she had lied to him. He wanted desperately to wipe away those tears, but part of him, a very large part of him was still angry at her, he fisted his hands in his lap to get rid of his urge to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. He refused to tell her that everything was okay because in this moment right now he wondered if they could ever be okay again.

"You said seemed normal." Brennan was shaken out of her daze by Booth's inquisitive statement.

Brennan sudden felt her throat close up and her mouth go dry, wringing her hands she contemplated how she could tell Booth, the alpha-male that she had lost all trust in men, in families because of Henry.

"He … " _might__ as well rip of the band-aid Brennan _"was a ped…sex offender"

Brennan did need the help of her body language books to tell her Booth was shocked. He had now turned his body away from her, he was disgusted by her.

Brennan scooted to where Booth sat, moving to put a tentative hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

"Don't touch me Brennan." His voice was harsh and laced with malice. He couldn't call her Bones, she wasn't Bones, she was someone else all this time.

Brennan didn't understand how he could hate her so much, she was as much a victim as her children were. _No you weren't _came that little voice in her head _you had suspicions._

"Booth" she pleaded, "please don't do this" fighting back the urge to break down and cry she again reached out for Booth, but again he rejected her.

Booth stood up and moved behind the couch to put it between himself and Brennan. "Brennan, you asked me to stay and hear you out, but this… this story is sick, you know I hate cases with kids, and your telling me you married a sex-offender, and put your own children in danger? WHY?"

Brennan stood fighting the urge to run. "I didn't know."

The helplessness in her voice grated at Booth's heart, the woman he thought he loved was someone else, she had married some sick bastard and said she didn't know.

"Brennan, how do you not know? The bastard had a think for kids, and you married him?"

"Booth, he conned me, us, all of us." She scoffed "The men in my life seem to have a track record of that. He was … he was." Brennan failed to articulate the words.

"He was what Brennan? His wit, his good looks managed to fool you? What?" Booth knew he was being harsh but he could comprehend how Brennan could let such a sicko into her life.

"He was the kid's uncle, okay? I didn't suspect him, I didn't realise anything was going on. The one time he tried something on our… on my kids I kicked him out, that's when things got violent. You can't just escape Booth. He … he forced me and the kids to stay with him, the risks, however well calculated were too much, I couldn't risk the lives of my kids, but it was no use anyways, he killed them."


	4. Chapter 4

So its been like forever since I've updated and I don't know if anyone is still interested in this story but I had time so hop

_So its been like forever since I've updated and I don't know if anyone is still interested in this story but I had time so hope you like it. _

The silence that stretched out in Brennan's living room following her confession only served to heighten the tensions running high between both occupants.

_Booth, say something! Bones just told you her sick bastard of a husband killed her kids and you're standing here gaping like an idiot!_

"I…"

"ummm…."

No matter how hard he tried Booth's mouth couldn't formulate any words.

Brennan willed herself not to cry in front of Booth. Her overbright eyes, filled to the brim with tears surveyed her partner, a man she had learnt to trust despite everything. She watched as he struggled to from a coherent word. _He hates me, he has too. He's disgusted by me, he blames me for the death of my children. _With Brennan's brain working in overdrive, she didn't even notice Booth reaching once again for the photo album.

He thumbed through the happy photos, hatred for a man he had never met building inside of him so rapidly, he wanted to hurt something or someone. But he kept it in check, he wanted, _no he corrected himself, he needed to find out what had happened. _He finally came across the last dozen or so pages of the album, filled with yellowing newspaper cut-outs:

**Tragedy strikes Bennets again - when will it stop?**

**Benet children brutally murdered – is the Benet killer back?**

**Arizona's most notorious serial killer turned his own victim into a murderer. **

**Bruised and battered housewife made to watch as both children are killed.**

_Shit…this bastard was one sick psychopath, making Bones watch as he killed his, their own kids. Wait why does it say both kids? _Booth quickly flipped the heavy album and opened it to the picture of Bones with her proudly protruding stomach. Booth silently ticked it off in his head. _Two beaming kids, the bastard of a husband and a pregnant Bones, that makes three kids right? What happened? Which two died? _Booth's mind was reeling and it wasn't till that moment that he bothered to look up from his thorough search of Bones' past life, the one she had been hiding all along.

"Bones?"

She sat quietly, unassuming, so broken, he barely recognised her. His heart broke. _How can my heart break? I don't love her – how can I she kept two years – two of the most important years of her life hidden from me! How am I meant to trust her? How can I..._

Staring up at him with her eyes glazed over in pain, Booth felt his hand itching to reach out and comfort her, to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. But her couldn't. He fisted his hand, so his nails dug painfully into his palm, he would not let himself forgive her so easy, he needed answers.

"Why did you call?"


End file.
